“Why do I need to have all these people helping me to organize and manage my life?”
I hear that question often, when I work with clients who are struggling, often with the impact of a fairly recent ADHD diagnosis, and often with women at mid-life.
With a diagnosis of ADHD, you`ve learned something brand new (and big) about yourself.
And as you already know, this changes a lot. ADHD affects every aspect of your life, from how you see yourself to your money management, to relationships and more.
Therapist. ADHD coach. ADHD organizer. Your meds person. Business coach or life coach. Caregiving support group. Pilates or yoga instructor. Naturopath. Webinars, books, and podcasts.
You probably already have many team members and just never stopped to think about them altogether, as a supporting team.
Because it`s not you. It`s your brain.
Your team members are experts who have already been through this. They will work with you so you get from Point A to Point a lot faster and more smoothly.
Your “Point A to Point B” will be any sort of goal you have, though it could start with answering a foundational question: How is your ADHD showing up in your life? What do you want to do about it?
So think of your team members as ` life preservers.`
NOT life savers.
A `life saver` `That`s someone who rushes into rescue you at the last minute. You`re helpless.
A life preserver (like the real object) puts you in charge. It`s a partnership between you and that life preserver to get you where you want to go. You`re not helpless. Just the opposite.
Life preservers keep you afloat so that YOU can more easily swim back to the ship. They don`t carry you back.
You direct. You swim. You make your own way back and you set the pace.
They make the trip easier so you can focus on where you need to get to.
Then when you get to where you wanted to be, you can let go of those life preservers, or use some, but not all.
Same with your team of coaches and experts.
Maybe you`re saying: I don`t know if I can do this.
Many of you may already be a `team leader` for your child who has ADHD or some brain based challenge; or you’re caregiving for a spouse, partner or parent; or you manage your entire household and family’s activities.
If you have participated in an Al Anon, AA, overeaters anonymous, clutter support group `that experience definitely gives you a leg up, too. You already know the power and support that comes from a group of compassionate, non judgmental people who have been through something similar.
A client offered these thoughts from someone who has a good deal of professional and personal experience with 12 step programs. What makes the team concept work is partly about the individuals and partly about the program:
1) Willing to change
2) We program, expecting to be part of a team called “the fellowship”
3) Significant distress tolerance
4) Hopeful orientation towards future
5) Faith in a Higher Power who will make things turn out all right.
If you think you can, then you can…
… maybe with a bit of support or coaching to organize your thoughts and strategies – if so, please call or write.
Happy to support, whether it’s one call or a regular time until you’re ready to launch.
603.554.1948 is my office line. Sue@CoachSueWest.com is my email.
In November, my colleague, Andrea Sharb, ACC Coach and I present at CHADD* a newly designed workshop, called “Creating the Best Team for Your Adult ADHD Self.” It’s all about teams and collaboration among team members. It does take a village, at some point, for all of us, doesn’t it. (*CHADD: Children and Adults with ADHD; international conference.) We were interviewed about our workshop and the link is part of another post I wrote recently here.