How and why do you need to have a money talk with yourself? And especially before you talk with your spouse or your aging parents? We all have our own “money stuff,” or even “money clutter.” Here’s something to think about, that money is tied to our self-worth, as I wrote about in this blog article after reading some comments from Suze Orman. If you’re ready to go, try on this “Money Talk with Yourself” framework below as a place to begin.
“We have to deal with crises and foundational issues first. Only then can we move onto life management strategies.” ~ Dr. Kathleen Nadeau, Ph.D., internationally recognized authority on ADHD, co-author ADHD-Friendly Strategies to Organize Your Life (the red book). From her speech at the ADHD Professionals conference.
Money Talk: My Client Rory’s Situation
Frustrated with the overspending, but not wanting to be the wet blanket, my client Rory didn’t know where to start to have the money talk with her spouse. Bills were not managed. Savings was rare. Was she scared about never having enough, so that fear was driving each decision?
And what about her business; was she investing enough or shying away from it? Rory decided to examine her own beliefs and systems first. From there, we figured out how to start the conversations and also created the practical bill paying and paper/internet systems she wanted. This solution included regular reviews with her spouse each week.
Money Talk: Questions to Explore for Yourself
Educate yourself focusing on your stage of life: Read and focus on the topic. Start to ask more questions of your financial planner and accountant. Or seek recommendations to add them to your life. Focus your education on your stage of life, because goals and tactics are different when you’re 35 versus mid life or beyond.
Reflect on your attitudes and emotions around money: How you were raised. Your underlying beliefs and values about finances. If one end of the pole is overspending, and the other end is being so frugal that you’re consistently depriving yourself, where do you fall ? My favorite resources for more are here.
What’s your “Why?” on the money front. Why is it important to you to understand more? What if you did? What if you didn’t? Get in touch with this because it’s the source of motivation when things get difficult … or when you’re finding it difficult to even get yourself started.
Spending: What do you enjoy spending money on? What habits do you have? Do you keep track of spending in some way? Are you spending on things that are important to you or are you not paying much attention yet?
Systems: What systems have worked for you in the past? Could you envision using that or something similar to help you now? Did you have any problems with that system – any reason you could not trust it or some modified version of it today?
Money talk: Start with looking at yourself, your attitudes, strengths, emotions, systems and history; and then move on from there. This is one of the internal and external jobs for the day; it’s not just about the transactions.
If you’d like to figure out systems for bill paying, your business or your parents, let’s talk.
Sue@CoachSueWest.com or 603.554.1948